Inspiration can hit in the strangest of place. The other day, it hit me here on io9 - HARD!

I was minding my own business, reading an article by Robert T. Gonzales about whether or not a human being could outrun a T. Rex (sadly, we can’t) and along comes Long Corpse to plant a seed in my head with the simple comment “Rawr means run”.

That line sounded like a verse from a children’s book to me and since the main article was tagged with ‘Jurassic Park’ and featured a .gif from the original movie, my gears started grinding together about a child’s learning book that would teach them the alphabet while schooling them on surviving the perils of the park. Before I could reconcile the fact that this was utter nonsense, out popped my own reply that slightly expanded Long Corpse’s statement. One more person, AyeAyeCapn, joined the fun and further sent me careening down the goofy and winding road of writing a sing-songy ode to the world's most adorably ferocious theme park. (I changed Capn's lines to match meter, but B and C are his ideas).

(Also, just for grins, check out this article on one artist’s interpretation of the movie.)

So, with as much fanfare as a post on io9 can muster, I present:


Adventure awaits on this island that’s mighty!

Butts, as in yours, you must hold on to tightly.

C is for clever, which our girl sure is.

D is for dinos Doc Grant likes to dig.

Expenses weren’t spared in this fantasy park.

Finding some amber is where it all starts.

Giant they are, the Brachiosaurs!

Here in this time, but extinct once before.

Ian is smart. It’s chaos he studies.

Jump off a fence with your dinosaur buddies!

Killing and screaming? On that you can bet!

Lawyers get eaten while on the toilet.

M is for money – this park hopes to make.

Nublar is the island that seals all their fates.

Out go the lights, when Nedry gets done.

P is for power, which Ellie turns on.

Q is for quiet. The T Rex is near.

Rwar means run! He’s something to fear.

S is for swift. It’s better to sprint.

Terrible Lizard is its name in print.

Under the tables, in the kitchen we hide.

Very mean raptors want to skin us alive.

When dinosaurs ruled? We now understand!

X marks the spot where the chopper will land.

Your fear will subside as you fly out of sight.

Zany it is, this Jurassic Park life!